patrickbatemanismydaddy:

thepatrickbateman:

patrickbatemanismydaddy:

I’m finally thepatrickbateman’s wife go tell it on the mountain start spreading the news I told you ass muffins

Wow, you’re embarrassed.

“I’m not embarrassed.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy:

I’m finally thepatrickbateman’s wife go tell it on the mountain start spreading the news I told you ass muffins

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: I knew a little persistence was key all along. Are you a ramen noodle?

“My self worth is about equal to a single Ramen noodle, but I like to think I’m more interesting looking than that.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: I'm actually surprised you're just letting me call you 'my husband' so freely now. I guess you've given up.

“You’re stubborn and I’m a wet noodle.”

templeofapelles:

Two Octopi, 1885
John Singer Sargent

callmescrooge:

thepatrickbateman:

“You’re killing me.”

…

        …

“I’m leaving.”

… “Why?”

notafulldeck started following you

“About. Fucking. Time.”

“Is it you?”

loki-hornedkingofdickery:

thepatrickbateman:

“I’m old.”

You’re old?

Darling, I am millennia older than you

“Ha…”

“That’s not possible.”