I’m Patrick Bateman. Age 30. Pierce & Pierce. Mergers and Acquisitions. New York. Gotham. Sometimes international. Rules: You know only what I tell youI simply am not thereTumblr (3.0; @thepatrickbateman)https://pbateman.co.vu/flawedlouise: &ldquo;I know you Buffalo Bill your own reflection… ‘Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me....<p><a href="http://flawedlouise.tumblr.com/post/104545739570/thepatrickbateman-flawedlouise" class="tumblr_blog">flawedlouise</a>:</p><blockquote> <p>&ldquo;I know you Buffalo Bill your own reflection… ‘Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me hard. I’d fuck me so hard’.</p></blockquote> &quot;Workout motivation&hellip; Or something.&rdquo;https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104743460793https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104743460793Tue, 09 Dec 2014 02:10:48 -0500there's the woman I rememberflawedlouiseflawedlouise: thepatrickbateman:&ldquo;I’m… Familiar?&rdquo; Mm, sure… Your self-deprecating manner...<p><a href="http://flawedlouise.tumblr.com/post/104535139845/thepatrickbateman-im-familiar-mm-sure" class="tumblr_blog">flawedlouise</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104518630038/im-familiar" class="tumblr_blog">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p><blockquote><p>&ldquo;I’m… Familiar?&rdquo;</p></blockquote> <p>Mm, sure… Your self-deprecating manner is almost a comfort.</p></blockquote> &ldquo;Better watch me stare at myself when I work out. You&rsquo;ll be right at home with the evident lack of self esteem.&rdquo; I smirk.https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104544978083https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104544978083Sat, 06 Dec 2014 22:17:06 -0500Sentimental during the holidaysI think I understand though I can't relate&ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to the dry cleaners.&rdquo;<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m going to the dry cleaners.&rdquo;</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104529639838https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104529639838Sat, 06 Dec 2014 18:37:11 -0500ByePhoto<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/7fae9f1141477a37620970661757649e/tumblr_ng0qtc45Qy1sn8m9wo1_400.gifv"/><br/><br/>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528809133https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528809133Sat, 06 Dec 2014 18:26:04 -0500I was using it as an example. Like… You know. I’m more powerful than the ramen noodle. Your wife dissolves pearls in wine for dinner and then drinks it.<p>“So you dominate me then.”</p> <p>I laugh.</p> <p>“Three thousand dollars a glass… That sounds much better.”</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528739083https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528739083Sat, 06 Dec 2014 18:25:08 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddypatrickbatemanismydaddy: thepatrickbateman: patrickbatemanismydaddy: I’m changing my last name to...<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104525740559/thepatrickbateman-patrickbatemanismydaddy">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525495093/patrickbatemanismydaddy-thepatrickbateman">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104524210574/thepatrickbateman-patrickbatemanismydaddy">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m changing my last name to yours.</p> </blockquote> <div>“That’s not… Do whatever you want.”</div> </blockquote> <p>Whaaaatt? Come on, what’s up?</p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Bateman isn&rsquo;t an attractive name. I don&rsquo;t have anything else to say.&rdquo;</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528416293https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104528416293Sat, 06 Dec 2014 18:20:50 -0500All you do is degrade yourself. I eat ramen noodles for dinner - you’re not that stringy and wimpy.<p>“…No ‘wife’ of mine eats ramen noodles for dinner.”</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525841008https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525841008Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:46:52 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddyPhoto<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/6ce8d3bcf9e9bfbdae6f8256a8d8fa69/tumblr_nagq4nMAnw1qaf0ako1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525527138https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525527138Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:42:43 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddy: thepatrickbateman: patrickbatemanismydaddy: thepatrickbateman: patrickba...<p><a href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104524210574/thepatrickbateman-patrickbatemanismydaddy" class="tumblr_blog">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523912903/patrickbatemanismydaddy-thepatrickbateman" class="tumblr_blog">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104523808114/thepatrickbateman-patrickbatemanismydaddy">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523505103/patrickbatemanismydaddy-im-finally">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104523032669/im-finally-thepatrickbatemans-wife-go-tell-it-on">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m finally <a class="tumblelog" href="http://tmblr.co/mi-hJ50KKNfuBzvUp5Ne6uA">thepatrickbateman</a>&rsquo;s wife go tell it on the mountain start spreading the news I told you ass muffins</p> </blockquote> <p><figure data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"><img alt="image" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_p7rwou42xu1r7tgfi_540.gif" data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"/></figure></p> </blockquote> <p>Wow, you’re embarrassed.</p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;I’m not embarrassed.&rdquo;</p></blockquote> <p>I’m changing my last name to yours.</p></blockquote> &ldquo;That&rsquo;s not&hellip; Do whatever you want.&rdquo;https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525495093https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525495093Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:42:17 -0500Photo<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/55fe1d8214341a85a209c54d754e8bcc/tumblr_ndrkkyP8NB1rwv0r5o1_500.png"/><br/><br/>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525136628https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104525136628Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:37:35 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddy: thepatrickbateman: patrickbatemanismydaddy: I’m finally...<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104523808114/thepatrickbateman-patrickbatemanismydaddy">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523505103/patrickbatemanismydaddy-im-finally">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104523032669/im-finally-thepatrickbatemans-wife-go-tell-it-on">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m finally <a class="tumblelog" href="http://tmblr.co/mi-hJ50KKNfuBzvUp5Ne6uA">thepatrickbateman</a>&rsquo;s wife go tell it on the mountain start spreading the news I told you ass muffins</p> </blockquote> <p><figure data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"><img alt="image" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_p7rwousozz1r7tgfi_540.gif" data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"/></figure></p> </blockquote> <p>Wow, you’re embarrassed.</p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m not embarrassed.&rdquo;</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523912903https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523912903Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:21:49 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddy: I’m finally thepatrickbateman&rsquo;s wife go tell it on the mountain...<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://patrickbatemanismydaddy.tumblr.com/post/104523032669/im-finally-thepatrickbatemans-wife-go-tell-it-on">patrickbatemanismydaddy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’m finally <a class="tumblelog" href="http://tmblr.co/mi-hJ50KKNfuBzvUp5Ne6uA">thepatrickbateman</a>&rsquo;s wife go tell it on the mountain start spreading the news I told you ass muffins</p> </blockquote> <p><figure data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"><img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_p7rwougMLB1r7tgfi_540.gif" data-orig-height="241" data-orig-width="166" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/658177d0b20f7ad5dfa262f0d03f1786/tumblr_inline_ng6luymRhV1r7tgfi.gif"/></figure></p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523505103https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523505103Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:16:30 -0500I don't care anymoreyou seem relaxed you must have murdered lately<p><img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/7fb655e934b3cd84ec03fbf704b19d4c/tumblr_inline_ng6lopG1ZI1r7tgfi.gif"/></p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523231323https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104523231323Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:12:53 -0500xanaxbitchAnonymousI knew a little persistence was key all along. Are you a ramen noodle?<p>“My self worth is about equal to a single Ramen noodle, but I like to think I’m more interesting looking than that.”</p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104522957523https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104522957523Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:09:17 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddyI’m actually surprised you’re just letting me call you ‘my husband’ so freely now. I guess you’ve given up.<p>“You’re stubborn and I’m a wet noodle.”</p> <p><img alt="image" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/b2d2a37f86c25c1cfc92780fb82a2c1c/tumblr_inline_ng6laeEB9y1r7tgfi.gif"/></p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104522550823https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104522550823Sat, 06 Dec 2014 17:03:00 -0500patrickbatemanismydaddythis is what you marriedtempleofapelles: Two Octopi, 1885 John Singer Sargent<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/bba72221896b4ed6a912199adc402106/tumblr_ng6hbpxQCi1t6s4oeo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/><p><a href="http://templeofapelles.tumblr.com/post/104515952169/two-octopi-1885-john-singer-sargent" class="tumblr_blog">templeofapelles</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Two Octopi, 1885<br/> John Singer Sargent</p></blockquote>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104521926028https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104521926028Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:55:56 -0500ALREADYcallmescrooge: thepatrickbateman: &ldquo;You’re killing me.&rdquo; …         … &ldquo;I’m...<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://catwoman.co.vu/post/104521177744/thepatrickbateman-youre-killing-me">callmescrooge</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><small><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104519123038/callmescrooge-thepatrickbateman-liked-your">thepatrickbateman</a>:</small></p> <blockquote> <p><small><figure data-orig-height="100" data-orig-width="100" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/88628129b599b42d19946a9cd79c7f11/tumblr_inline_ng6j75BbIf1r7tgfi.jpg"><img alt="image" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/88628129b599b42d19946a9cd79c7f11/tumblr_inline_p7rwouoB9w1r7tgfi_540.jpg" data-orig-height="100" data-orig-width="100" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/88628129b599b42d19946a9cd79c7f11/tumblr_inline_ng6j75BbIf1r7tgfi.jpg"/></figure></small></p> <p><small>&ldquo;You’re killing me.&rdquo;</small></p> </blockquote> <p><small>…</small></p> <p><small>        …</small></p> <p><small>&ldquo;I’m leaving.&rdquo;</small></p> </blockquote> <p><small>&hellip; &ldquo;Why?&rdquo;</small></p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104521398203https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104521398203Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:48:58 -0500callmescroogetw selina kyleHAHAHAHAHAHPhoto<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/c3d18bbe0747a9ce34556f0f8179c1de/tumblr_ng34nwQ0X61u2jhuyo1_500.jpg"/><br/><br/>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104520279308https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104520279308Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:34:28 -0500that won't stop a rich white guy like me notafulldeck started following you &ldquo;About. Fucking. Time.&rdquo; &ldquo;Is it you?&rdquo;<blockquote> <p><a href="http://notafulldeck.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">notafulldeck</a> started following you</p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;About. Fucking. Time.&rdquo;</p> <p><figure data-orig-height="152" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c6fd289b2bcf5635f595939ee919afa/tumblr_inline_ng6jevAKyJ1r7tgfi.gif"><img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c6fd289b2bcf5635f595939ee919afa/tumblr_inline_p7rwouPGp61r7tgfi_540.gif" data-orig-height="152" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/5c6fd289b2bcf5635f595939ee919afa/tumblr_inline_ng6jevAKyJ1r7tgfi.gif"/></figure></p> <p>&ldquo;<strike>Is it you?&rdquo;</strike></p>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104519515608https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104519515608Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:24:38 -0500notafulldeckreally thoughloki-hornedkingofdickery: thepatrickbateman: &ldquo;I’m old.&rdquo; You’re old? Darling, I am...<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://loki-hornedkingofdickery.tumblr.com/post/104516635373/thepatrickbateman-im-old-youre-old">loki-hornedkingofdickery</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pbateman.co.vu/post/104515464223/im-old">thepatrickbateman</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>&ldquo;I’m old.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote> <p>You’re old?</p> <p>Darling, I am millennia older than you</p> </blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Ha&hellip;&rdquo;</p> <p><figure data-orig-height="217" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/598d6ae90f8fa4826de41d391d11415c/tumblr_inline_ng6jappUTA1r7tgfi.gif"><img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/598d6ae90f8fa4826de41d391d11415c/tumblr_inline_p7rwouBmN21r7tgfi_540.gif" data-orig-height="217" data-orig-width="245" data-orig-src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/598d6ae90f8fa4826de41d391d11415c/tumblr_inline_ng6jappUTA1r7tgfi.gif"/></figure></p> <p>&ldquo;That&rsquo;s <em><strong>not</strong></em> possible.&rdquo;</p> <div id="__if72ru4rkjahiuyi_once"></div>https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104519299313https://pbateman.co.vu/post/104519299313Sat, 06 Dec 2014 16:21:47 -0500