patrickbatemanismydaddy said: I was using it as an example. Like... You know. I'm more powerful than the ramen noodle. Your wife dissolves pearls in wine for dinner and then drinks it.

“So you dominate me then.”

I laugh.

“Three thousand dollars a glass… That sounds much better.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: All you do is degrade yourself. I eat ramen noodles for dinner - you're not that stringy and wimpy.

“…No ‘wife’ of mine eats ramen noodles for dinner.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: I knew a little persistence was key all along. Are you a ramen noodle?

“My self worth is about equal to a single Ramen noodle, but I like to think I’m more interesting looking than that.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: I'm actually surprised you're just letting me call you 'my husband' so freely now. I guess you've given up.

“You’re stubborn and I’m a wet noodle.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: Where my husband at

“In a warm apartment away from the fucking nightmare we call weather.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: "Then I must be punished at once, don't you think?"

“I think you should be careful what you say.”

“Go to my apartment. Don’t expect to go out tomorrow.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: "I've been so busy, please don't punish me for not communicating like I should. Do you forgive me, Daddy?"

“No… I don’t think I can.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: Daddy. :(

“I’m in a meeting. I can’t react appropriately.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: "I don't /have/ to have sex with you." What an asshole. But at least he's laughing for a change. "I don't have to do anything with you. I just choose to. Want to pay me anyway?"

“If you’re my prostitute you do… Unless you don’t want anything from me.” That’s the basis of most of my relationships anyway. I’m still smiling despite how depressing some people might think that is. “I guess I’ll think about it.”

patrickbatemanismydaddy said: Well, what did he think I was going to say? "I mean... That's what wives are. I guess. No. Never mind."

I laugh more than I was expecting to. “Maybe I should take another look at marriage. Being bound to someone that has to have sex with me because I reward them in money or other things sounds… Bearable.” I’m being an asshole and I know it. It’s a new mood for the evening.